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Prevent a Family Feud from Becoming a Legal Feud

The drama, the cost, the lost time, the broken relationships – there are so many ways that family problems about end-of-life care for a parent and inheritance can have serious repercussions when these problems reach the status of a legal filing and court case. You can take steps moving beyond the possibility this might happen and create (or amend) your estate plan seeking to diffuse these potential issues before they become legal challenges.

Every situation is unique. Everybody’s family has a different mix of personalities, degrees of wants versus needs, and problem-solving skills. The American family system is more complex than ever, with a 2021 divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, divorces, remarriages, committed long-term partner relationships, biological children, stepchildren, and physical decentralization from other family members.

Fights occur in families that are rich and poor. It turns out the dollar amount is often irrelevant. Problems stem from mismatched expectations, including but not limited to:

Sibling rivalry – Tensions between siblings tend to boil over after the passing of a parent. This situation can be especially true when inheritable assets go to step-siblings. Grief often triggers reflection, and memories of clashes and disagreements never settled tend to present themselves in real-time. The settlement of your estate can become the battleground to settle the score of a long-time feud. Avoid the situation by appointing a professional fiduciary as your trustee. If you do not prefer this option, select a family member trustee with no stake in the rivalry to mitigate its effects.

The economic disparity among beneficiaries – Socio-economic imbalances of estate heirs can destabilize the entire process. A wealthier heir may afford to hold an inheritable asset, while less economically stable heirs may want to sell for immediate financial gain. The problem seems to become compounded by the number of inheritors. You can avoid these disputes by leaving specific instructions as to the preservation or sale of real property. You may opt for “cash-out” provisions that will pay the less financially stable heirs the value of their stake in the real property and allow the more financially stable heir to retain full ownership.

Co-trustees – Even family members with great relationships and the best of intentions can clash as to the administration of your estate. All it takes is two inheritors and one grandfather clock. Executors must move quickly and decisively to administer an estate because all inheritors are waiting for their share of the payout. Avoid this problem and name only one to administer your estate.

Beneficiary dependency or mental illness – Irrational behavior that becomes part of an already sensitive situation, like your death and the settlement of your estate, will slow progress and create ill will. Any history of psychological instability or substance abuse threatens to derail an orderly process. To avoid situations with chemical dependency, create contingencies for that heir to test clean for a specific time or establish a discretionary trust where a competent trustee handles access to assets on behalf of the addicted individual. In the case of mental illness, establish a special needs trust or build specific provisions into your base trust. This protection permits the beneficiary to qualify for government assistance and still receive trust disbursements.

Undue influence – End-of-life care for a parent usually falls to one person (often a sibling) handling most of the caretaking. The uneven workload and intimate daily contact can leave the caretaker believing they are entitled to more and coerce the parent to change documents to the caretaker’s benefit. Undue influence is more often than not a product of the other offsprings’ apathy. Prevention includes paying close attention to the increasing susceptibility of an aging parent and using digital means, audio-video cameras, digital monitors that track change in blood pressure et al., to identify parent stress and prevent caregiver coercion for personal gain.

Late marriage – Love knows no bounds. Late in life, marriages happen, and you can expect resentment of your new spouse by existing heirs, particularly in a blended family with children who are primarily, or only, on the settlor’s side. Divorces, remarriage, and deaths make updating your estate planning documents a must. Upon remarrying, it is essential to place assets in your trust or modify your existing trust and Will to clarify the division of assets.

Advance benefits to one heir and not others – If one of your children needs financial assistance now or another is starting a fledgling business, yet another might require a down payment for a first home or bailout money from suffocating college debt, you may opt to provide financial help. These scenarios are common but can strain relations during probate among heirs not receiving the same benefit. Avoid this situation by noting in your trust language which heir received an advancement to their inheritance and how to deduct that previously received amount from your estate assets. If you do not, some inheritors may receive a double payout, ruffling the feathers of other heirs.

Estrangement or disinheritance – Children and other potential heirs left out of inheritance typically have nothing to lose by challenging their exclusion. This situation becomes worse in the case of blended families and their complexities, particularly if the sidelined heir pairs the challenge with a secondary claim like undue influence. You can avoid this by keeping your trust updated. A more recent trust will include a more modern disinheritance clause covering changes in this area of law. Make sure you understand the specific language in your trust regarding disinheritance.

A carefully crafted estate plan that accounts for your heirs and potential relationship problems is the first step to reducing a legal challenge stemming from a family feud. An elder law estate planning attorney knows the problems that may crop up among family members and can address these issues using the appropriate legal entities with clear and specific language. Reducing the possibility of a legal challenge to your estate brings peace of mind to you and your future heirs. Schedule an appointment at our Ruston, LA office or call us at (318) 255-1760 to discuss how we can help craft your estate plan to meet your unique family situation.

The Sandwich Generation: Planning for Your Family’s Future

Anyone experiencing the struggle of simultaneously caring for children and aging parents is part of the sandwich generation. Although generation is part of the phrase, it does not refer to people born at a specific time. Typically, these “sandwich” family caregivers will be in the thirty to forty-year-old age range and balancing duties to provide for their families and provide care duties for both children and parents.

Trends that Lead to an Increase of the Sandwich Generation

The rise in the numbers in the sandwich generation is a byproduct of influential trends. Two obvious and long-term trends are women who opt to give birth later in life and the increasing numbers of the senior US population. The third influence is the COVID-19 pandemic. Fear of placing aging parents into long-term care facilities where thousands have perished due to the coronavirus prompts many families to care for their elder loved ones in their homes or their parents’ homes nearby. Additionally, many in the sandwich generation continue to work remotely to balance income needs with care for their children and aging adult loved ones.

If this scenario reads familiar, you are not alone. You are most likely experiencing significant anxiety and stress as you juggle, in some cases, limited in-person schooling and activities for your children, career and increased financial expectations, family dynamics, and daily caregiver duties. Though this is a challenging time in your life, it does not have to be as impossible as it may seem. There are steps to take to help you provide the best outcomes possible in your sandwich generation endeavor.

How the Sandwich Generation Can Plan for Their Family’s Future

Start with a simple first step by reprioritizing “daily.” Suppose there seems an overwhelming number of tasks to accomplish in a day; prioritize between urgent and non-urgent categories to triage what needs addressing first. Also, make time for self-care to avoid caregiver burnout. Focusing on basics like nutritious meals, adequate sleep, and exercise will serve you and your loved ones well. Know your rights at your workplace. Programs like the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) offer job security to those taking a leave of absence for family medical reasons. While it is not a paid benefit, you will maintain access to your health insurance benefits for up to twelve weeks of time off. If you haven’t, explore working remotely to put you in the same physical location as those you care for in your home. And, of course, share your feelings about your burdens and get extra help when you need it. Talking things through with family members can better manage everyone’s expectations. There are also forums and community resources that can put you in touch with others in the sandwich generation, where you can share information and offload burdens.

Make an honest evaluation of your available resources before determining a course of action. Are your parents able to pay for their care on their own, even within your own home? Do they carry long-term care insurance or whole life insurance policies with living benefits? Do you have other family members willing to contribute financially, or is a public assistance option viable?

Talk things through with your parents about their preferences and abilities to pay. Include any siblings you may have and figure out who can help provide care and whose home provides the best solution. If external help is a must, research local resource possibilities and at what cost. Most importantly, consult an elder law attorney to ensure all relevant legal document requirements are at hand if a sudden financial or medical decision presents itself.

While your parents are a huge responsibility, it is crucial not to overlook the needs of your retirement that will protect your children’s lifestyle and future. College funds need to be a priority, as is a 401(k) plan if your place of employment offers one. Consider the purchase of a term or whole life insurance policy to protect your family’s future in the event a tragedy befalls you and your ability to care for your family. Start an emergency fund right away, as life is unpredictable. This fund can help cover incidental costs, unexpected medical bills, and a long-term hospital stay. Unexpected costs can throw your budget out of whack so try to be prepared ahead of time with some emergency cash on hand.

If your sandwich generation status continues for a long time, re-evaluate your finances periodically. Goals will change, and updating your estate plan and possibly your parents’ plan too may help you stay on track to meet your nuclear family’s long-term goals. You may need to renovate your home as your parents age for both their comfort and safety.

Money management and estate planning are critical elements to creating a mutually beneficial living experience as part of the sandwich generation. While this may not be the easiest time of your life with the multitude of demands placed upon you, it is survivable, indeed a situation where you can all thrive with adequate planning. Contact our Ruston, LA office by calling (318) 255-1760 for assistance in structuring your plan.

How to Write a Letter of Instruction for Your Louisiana Estate Plan

Whether you are starting from scratch or have an estate plan in place a letter of instruction (LOI) is an important part of any comprehensive plan. A letter of instruction can help your loved ones manage important information about you. A LOI conveys your desires, includes practical information about where to find various items referenced in your plan, and it can provide advice to help those you designate in managing your affairs.

Even with a new or updated estate plan, there exists a lot of information that your heirs need to know that doesn’t necessarily fit into the format of a will, trust, or other estate plan components. In the absence of this information, it is easy for those in charge to miss important items and alternatively become overwhelmed, sifting through all of the documents you left behind. All LOI’s are as different as the persons who wrote them; however, there are some standard data that every LOI should include:

  • A current list of people and their contact information to inform of your death
  • A list of beneficiaries of your estate plan
  • The locations of important documents like your will, trust, financial statements, insurance policies, deeds, and birth certificate
  • A comprehensive list of assets such as bank accounts, investment accounts, real estate holdings, insurance policies, and military benefits if applicable
  • PINs, usernames, and passwords for debit cards and online accounts
  • Usernames and passwords for social media accounts, music or information accounts
  • Keys and combinations to digital safes, strong boxes, and safety deposit boxes and their locations
  • A list of credit card accounts and any other debts
  • A list of organizations in which you belong or are a paying member such as professional organizations, boards, country or golf clubs, social or political clubs, and more
  • A current list of contact information for lawyers, brokers, tax preparers, financial planners, and insurance agents
  • Instructions for the distribution of personal items with sentimental value
  • Instructions for a memorial or funeral service
  • A personal message to family members

A note about your digital footprint: your digital world often includes music libraries, storefronts, YouTube channels, influencer social media accounts, etc. When most of us create these accounts, we blithely accepted the End User License Agreement (EULA) without much thought about when we are no longer around to manage its content and activity. A EULA designates the rights and restrictions that apply when using the software known as terms of service (TOS). Naming someone capable of managing your digital-assets and their activity is important. Most of your online accounts are not subject to typical estates planning devices like trusts and wills because they are not technically your property. Since most TOS are non-transferable, you will be unable to transfer your online accounts’ ownership legally. However, you can still make a plan for how they are handled when you die.

Once you write your letter, put it somewhere easily accessible and tell your family about it. If you do not want anyone to read the LOI until your death, seal it in an envelope. You should review your letter once a year to be sure it reflects your most current wishes and information. Because your heirs read your letter of intent upon your death, it can be difficult for you to write and have any degree of satisfaction. Final words and conveyances are sobering.

We can help you compose such a letter (as well as other estate planning documents), making sure that it compliments and does not contradict your estate plan. Remember that your LOI can bring real peace and be a source of comfort to your grieving family members. It allows them time to contemplate and connect with others to celebrate you rather than sort through documents searching for important papers. Your LOI can also alleviate potential family conflicts and stress because you specifically address personal items’ distribution. Your goal should be to ease the burden for those in charge and gain a sense of peace that you have done all you can to allow your loved ones to focus on reflecting on your life.

When you are ready to take the next step, we will be here to help. Please contact our Ruston, LA office by calling us at (318) 255-1760 or schedule an appointment to discuss how we can help with your estate planning needs.

The Risks of Do-It-Yourself Estate Plan Documents

We hear this question all the time: “Can’t I just grab a will off the internet, do a transfer-on-death deed for my land, put my kids on my bank account, and be done with my estate plan?”

It’s just not a good idea. For the estate plan to work as you would want it to, it should account for plenty of complications. A good plan should protect your spouse and your children from loss of valuable government benefits, if anybody is or becomes disabled. The plan should avoid the delay and expense of probate court. The plan should protect money from children’s creditors or divorce or remarriage. It should be crafted to serve family harmony and to avoid disputes between children as joint owners.

Even a relatively simple situation is made up of many moving parts. Internet documents and joint-ownership devices just won’t do the job.

Also, assembling the moving parts so they work smoothly is just the first step. Your estate plan needs maintenance too, just like your car has a “check engine” light. Major family events like serious illness or death, marriage, birth, or financial reversals are alerts that you should tune up your plan to reflect those changes. Your plan shouldn’t be “one and done.”

It takes expertise to coordinate the various strategies available. Don’t risk a result that will cause your family problems and unnecessary expense. Call us to create a plan that harmonizes the moving parts, so the gears will work together and you will leave the legacy you intended.

At Goff & Goff, we specialize in building estate plans that are unique to your situation to safeguard your assets for your family and their future. Please contact our Ruston, LA office by calling us at (318) 255-1760 or schedule an appointment to discuss how we can help. We welcome the opportunity to speak to you about your estate planning needs.